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Stranded in Self Sorrow

Pain so real,
Heart ache so deep,
Nothing can suppress it
No one can stop it.
Residing in the remnants of my soul,
Never to feel love or joy,
Only to mimick what i observe.
Nothing truly mine,
Just a collection of other people,
Unsure of what to feel.

Told them of all my pain.
But sympathy lasts for merely a day
And then im forgotten.
All my pain and anguish,
Sins and forbidden thoughts,
Gone and washed from their memories.
Life goes on and im still stranded,
On my own island of misery and despair.
Broken heart and soul,
No rescue and sight,
Left here to die.


Fatal End

There once lived a girl,
who cried in secret,
she felt she was bound.
Afraid that in her secrets she would drown,
No one really knew,
Nothing they thought was true.
So she continued to lie,
Wanting nothing more than to die,
Or so she thought.
What she really wished for,
Was for someone to open the door,
To look deep and see,
the girl that lie underneath.
But no one ever saw,
They just believed her to be without a flaw.
No one cared to look past a single lie,
So in her own blood she lay alone and die.


The Real Me

She lies in the opaque corners of her mind,
Surrounded by her fears,
Swallowed up by loneliness,
And the darkness of her own pain.
Cold tears that sting with every drop
Run down her warm russet cheeks.
Alone in the shadows,
Where no one can see,
Is the girl that I use to be,
The girl I still am,
The girl that is ...


Seeing Everything

Drown it out,
The world from outside.
To everything.
No thoughts,
No feelings,
Mind wandering Nowhere,
But not searching.
Alone, but wanting to be.
Let no one in,
No one.
Breathing slowly,
Feeling it flow in and out,
In a rhythm,
Eyes closed,
Darkness all around,
Seeing nothing,
But yet....
Seeing it all.



Its like a morbid melody coming from my heart,
Drowning out the world and soaking my thoughts.
Not sure what to do,
Was I right?
Was I wrong?
What else was I to do?
Will this pain fade away,
Or was my choice a mistake?
Were my feelings truly what I believed,
Or were they an illusion or just a thought?
All I want are answers,
The truth.
What is it that I really feel,
And is this what I really want?
Please make this wretched song stop
Before I drown in my own thoughts.

Lost Childhood

A youth fixed in time.
Her spirit frigid by death and pain,
Surrounded by loneliness as the other children played.
Suppressed her opaque feelings with an illusive smile.
Drowned out the crimson world that she found so vile. 

She was forever a child they would misguide,
Unable to see the deep pain of an adult lying inside.
To much for her vulnerable frame to retain,
And in her heart forever would sorrow remain. 

Closed herself off under her tepid sheets,
Rocked and cried herself into a deep sleep,
Tears flowed from her burning eyes every night.
Wishing and praying to have another life,
Hoping to live like other children, euphoric, without strife.

Now as an adult she has thawed out and dried,
But the problem now is that she is so far behind.
Once an adult residing in a child,
Now a child within an adult.
Fated to never quite fit in,
Just to pretend,
But to lose herself in the end.


The Shadow of Death

Death is in every corner of the earth,
There is no escaping its hollowed grasp.
It lurks in the shadows,
But does not hide from the light.
It fears no evil,
It can not be defeated by any supernatural power,
It can not be transcended.
All there is to do is wait for it,
Because one day it shall creep upon you,
And embrace in its opaque frigid arms.
You shall be swallowed whole,
By the shadow of death.



Love is like walking blind folded and letting someone else lead.
You take their hand in yours and you have to trust them to guide you safely,
Give them your heart and trust that they wont break it.
Even when you hit stairs you must trust them to lead you down step by step,
Handling your love tenderly with care.
Even though you hesitate as they pull you along trust them,
Don't pull away when they bring you closer.
Allow them to lead,
let them love you.
Walk slowly,
Don't rush.

Reality of Love

Waiting so long to find love,
But only finding  heart ache.
Maybe love does not exist,
Nothing but a fable or a myth.
Bed time stories told to us as children,
Living with false hope and high dreams,
Crushed by the sudden rush of reality,
That love is a lie.
Colored and wrapped in a red dye.
Making you believe that happiness is for eternity,
When its covered with the veil of uncertainty.

Love is a fleeting moment in time,
But heart ache and sorrow last forever.



Cold and alone under the sheets,
curled up to escape from the outside world,
no more faking for today,
no smiles,
no laughs,
just tears, heartache, and solitude.
Lie here listening to the outside world go on without me,
not a beat skipped,
wasn't a note to begin with,
just an insignificant dot on the bottom of the page,
a misspelling that cant be erased,
just tolerated and read over.
A simple mistake.